Becoming Cleopatra by Nancy Padfield
Melissa, the woman that writes this blog, and I met four years ago on the Springfield Greenway in Robertson County, TN. Although I don’t remember exactly how our friendship began, I would guess we said “good morning” as we passed each other daily and over time started to talk.
Over these past few years Melissa has become an older sister to my eighteen-year-old daughter Charlotte and a younger sister to me. Part of the reason is because we are both transplants to the south…Melissa from Pennsylvania and me from a rural part of New Jersey. But another reason that our friendship has become so important is because she showed me how to become “Cleopatra” and take control of my pack.
Before Melissa and I started regularly walking together, on occasion, I would take my own dog Ellie Mae, a fifty-pound mutt with black and white splotches, but she was fear aggressive and would yank the leash and growl at other dogs we passed. It was much more relaxing to leave her at home and “do my own thing” at my own pace on the greenway.
Needless to say, Ellie’s aggressive behavior scared me, and I felt out of control. Of course, Ellie knew it. I blamed my dog’s unacceptable and unsafe behavior on her, certainly not on me. I always feared that Ellie would lunge or bite another dog. And I’ve had a few incidents where she actually did attack other dogs. It was awful. And my reaction to it was even worse.
In the beginning, when Melissa started training me in proper leash etiquette, she would give me a dog or two to walk. Two was my limit. I was just learning about leash etiquette and how important it is in earning a dog’s respect. You see, I was a diehard retractable leash user. Ellie would wear a harness or a hot pink, whimsical collar (again, attached to a retractable leash).
But Melissa’s dogs walked beautifully with me. I just thought they came by this naturally, but as time went on Melissa and I discussed a training collar and the importance of proper leash etiquette. I had had the impression that these collars were inhumane. “They must hurt the dog’s neck,” I thought, but as I watched Melissa’s dogs happily prancing next to me with slack leashes, I realized they didn’t mind them at all. In fact, they seemed more relaxed and happy than any other dogs we passed attached to harnesses, gentle leaders, and even regular collars. Melissa explained that the training collar should hang loose like a necklace and when they try to walk ahead, excessively pee, pull, lunge, etc., a gentle tug corrects them almost immediately. She said that it was something the dogs had gotten used to when they were pups, because the mother corrects her litter by nipping at their necks.
After gaining a little confidence, I asked my close friends if I could try walking two of their dogs on the greenway (Ellie is now too old to walk.) Darla, a friendly and energetic chocolate lab mix, walks with with a bit of a hunched back. Darla has an affinity for tennis balls. I am sure she came out of the womb with a neon green or orange tennis ball in her mouth, Javier, a very handsome Collie mix, looks like he carefully applies eyeliner each morning.
Darla and Javier live in a beautiful Victorian home with a lovely fenced and landscaped yard, where they run all day long but did not have a structured walk. To be honest, in public, they weren’t well –behaved. In previous years I would help my friends take their dogs to an annual “Animal Blessing.” It was chaotic to say the least. Three unruly dogs on three retractable leashes made us look like we were dancing around a Maypole. I ended up walking Darla because she was the most rambunctious of the group. I would always take her to a place as far away from the crowd as possible, until it was her turn to be “blessed.”
When my friends gave the OK to walk Darla and Javier, I bought two training collars and two short leashes. The first morning Melissa waited patiently outside the gate while I leashed them, which took a second or two. Almost immediately Darla caught on and walked right by my side, but Javier did not like this new technique at all and began growling, lunging, and bucking like a bronco. It was just like Ellie all over again. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I told Melissa that this was not a good idea.
She assured me all would be just fine, but I asked her to walk Javier. She walked him for about 100 yards, calmly and patiently correcting his behavior until he got the hang of it. Once she had him under control, Melissa handed the leash back to me and instructed, “Be Cleopatra. Who would mess with Cleopatra?”
Stomach in, shoulders back, head up, stand tall!!! Be confident and calm!!!!! I did what she said, and it worked!!! Like precision!
Now, I am DARLA AND JAVIER’S PACK LEADER!!!
Several months later we have a fabulous routine. Melissa and I walk a total of 7 dogs at once nearly every morning. Beside my two, I also walk Meadow, Melissa’s youngest dog. Cesar (the dog whisperer) would be proud. When any other aspect of my life is pretty crappy, our morning walk is the best part of my day.
Recently, we walked past the tennis courts where 15 (yes 15!!!) people were taking tennis lessons. There were 100’s of tennis balls bouncing everywhere. Darla, the dog born with a tennis ball in her mouth, may have been on sensory overload, but she acted as calmly as I did, looked up at me, and smiled, telling me she liked walking with Cleopatra. I smiled back and complimented her on her perfect leash etiquette.