Forbidden Snacks by Katherine Peacock

I am a firm believer in you are what you eat. I have this belief in regards to my pets too. They get the next to the best in dog food. I feed them 2 cups a day of Nature’s Variety kibble and along with each meal raw animal organs. Be that cow liver, chicken necks or whatever. It’s not cheap. However, they could care less about how much we spend on their food as is evident in their choices of snacks.

Delia loves trash & Holly prefers Delia’s poop. I imagine my issues with this are baffling to them. But let’s face it, folks. It’s beyond gross.

I think Delia has always had a taste for trash. After she joined our pack, I’d notice in the morning’s bits of trash on the floor & next to the receptacle. Nothing major at first. I never had a problem with Holly in regards to this so I just dismissed it. Then one night I heard a ruckus up stairs in the kitchen. I snuck upstairs & there was Delia, head in the trashcan, picking out the choice bits. Startling her with a “HEY!” she raced back to the couch & looked at me innocently. I then put the can up on the counter & went back to bed. Ok, so from now on I need to remember to put the trashcan up & out of reach. It took awhile to train myself to remember this. Delia however never misses an opportunity.  I’d come back home from a quick errand & her old lady eyes would say “hey, you forgot. That’s not my problem.”

Eventually I just purchased a baby gate specifically for the trash can so Dee couldn’t get to it. Easy Fix.

Holly on the other hand always had a thing for poop. Horse poop & cow poop were seen as special treats. When we were in Nashville, I’d take her take the Percy Warner Park Steeplechase. Next to this huge field was a horse stable. As we made out way around the perimeter she would get more excited the closer we got to the stables. I’d chase her off a pile & we would be on our way.

When we got to Boulder CO, we often visited another huge field called CU South. It was wonderful to go walk the ridge & let Holly run in the stream that followed. The University also kept cows there. Here Holly took her preferred fare to another level. Nothing delighted Holly more then sniffing out a cow pie. I’d see her in the distance nose to the ground chowing down. As I ran to her hollering & waving my arms, she would just eat faster. In fact the closer I got, the faster she scarfed that poop down. She calculated my arrival perfectly as just as I was with in reach of grabbing her she would dash away, licking her poopy chops. Ugh….it was gross. Although, a friend whom often went with us to CU South had a Husky named Luna who liked to roll in the cow poop so I’m not sure which is worse.

Thank goodness Holly never had a taste for dog poop though. That is….till we moved to Tallahassee. I had reunited with an old buddy of mine & we quickly started dating. After he had spent a year in Boulder with me, I moved to Tallahassee with him where he owned a house.

I religiously pick up after my dogs. A normal pick up load in the mornings is 4 piles. 2 for each dog. One morning I only found 3. I was missing one of Delia’s. Delia’s poops are different from Holly’s in that Dee walks hers out so it’s in a line. Holly just has a standard pile. I didn’t give it much thought. The next day again I was missing one of Dee’s. Hummm….

Then I started to only find Holly’s poop. I was baffled. So I watched Delia in the mornings. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. There was Delia, walking out in her hunched over poop stance & Holly right behind her gobbling it up the second it hit the ground.

“HEY!!! HOLLY!!! NO MA’AM! What the Hell?!” I screamed. My voice might have given away my borderline terror. Flash back to the cow poop days as the closer I got the faster she eats.

Really?!?! So every morning & evening it’s me with my baggie & Holly volleying for position as to who will get to Delia’s poop first. I can’t always be there when Delia needs to poop though. There are times when I know Dee has pooped due to Holly’s breath. The horse poop was annoying, the cow poop was frustrating, but this is just completely unacceptable. I can’t allow this to continue. There for, currently in route to be delivered to my house are 12 packets of a product called FOR-BID. It’s an “anticoprophagic condiment for dog rations”. In short, I feed it to Dee & it makes her poops taste bad. I’ll let you know how it goes. Gross.