Gowan By Geoff Reed

I swear, sometimes I think my two rescue mutts are the most emotionally needy dogs on the planet. It’s not that they mean to be a pain-in-the-ass; sometimes, it’s just that they crave human touch, attention, and interaction and never seem to be satisfied. They are “people dogs;” the dog park down the road where dogs frolic, romp, and chase each other is their worst nightmare.

The two of them can truly drive you nuts if they are cooped up in the house when it is too hot, cold, or rainy for them to be outside. When I’m on the couch, they must be on the couch seeking pets on the head and rubs on the belly. When I go in my office, I soon hear the click, click, click of toenails on the wood floors as they seek me out. Forget closing the door, they just sit outside and whine. When I put on my shoes, I get mugged. At times I think to myself, they are just making up for the lack of human love they never had in their lives. Cesar would not be proud of us; it goes affection, exercise, discipline in my house and I guess I’m just not very good at being strict.

So, in order to deal with the situation, I came up with a powerful, but simple, one word command that works. I doubt I invented it, but the dogs know what it means. I tell my house guests, if they are getting on your nerves, just tell ‘em to “Gowan!” Translated, it means, yes, I love you two to death, but right now you need to go do something, somewhere else. So get out of my chair or off my lap or out of the kitchen or out of my way.

Maybe someday I will have dogs that play with each other, or that I can take to the dog park and stand around with the other people, while the dogs run and tire themselves out. But for now, people are their only ticket to happiness. Fortunately, at least they know how to walk on a leash, sit, stay, and “Gowan!”